Live the best life you can – the value of your ‘dash’

           I came across these words today which made me think of how we spend our lives and how important it is that we all live the best lives we can, in all respects:

            I read of a man who stood to speak
           At the funeral of a friend
           He referred to the dates on her tombstone
           From the beginning…to the end.

           He noted that first came her date of birth
           And spoke the following date with tears,
           But he said what mattered most of all
           Was the dash between those years. (1944 -2008)

           For that dash represents all the time
           That she spent alive on earth…
           And now only those who loved her
           Know what that little line is worth.

           For it matters not, how much we own;
           The cars…the house…the cash,
           What matters is how we live and love
           And how we spend our dash.

           So think about this long and hard…
           Are there things you’d like to change?
           For you never know how much time is left,
           That can still be rearranged.

           If we could just slow down enough
           To consider what’s true and real,
           And always try to understand
           The way other people feel.

           And be less quick to anger,
           And show appreciation more
           And love the people in our lives
           Like we’ve never loved before.

           If we treat each other with respect,
           And more often wear a smile..
           Remembering that this special dash
           Might only last a little while.

           So, when your eulogy’s being read
           With your life’s actions to rehash…
           Would you be proud of the things they say
           About how you spent your dash?

If you start at the top, you can only go one way and that’s down

Perhaps the worst thing that might have happened to you would be to have been born with the proverbial silver spoon in your mouth. For had you been born into privilege, you would have been deprived of one of the world’s greatest gifts: the opportunity to reach the highest levels of success of which you are capable, solely on the basis of your own merit.

If you were born with less than most, don’t resent others who seem to have more advantages. In truth, the real advantage is yours, for you will develop the self-confidence that comes only from meeting life’s challenges on your own terms.

As you progress, you gain the strength and knowledge necessary to assure your enduring success, things that cannot be given to you, but must be earned.

A cluttered environment means a cluttered life

Yesterday I mentioned that I had put all my material possessions   – my ’stuff’ –  into storage so that I could travel uncluttered. Now what I should have done more of, is get rid of a lot of my ’stuff’. We all have some degree of clutter – clutter sneaks up on you. The older you get, the more stuff you accumulate. The stuff you accumulate at some point ceases to be stuff and becomes clutter. I should know – I’m a master of clutter.

Mostly, clutter is neither good nor bad, if left alone and if it is out of the way, like in an attic, basement or garage. A lot of my clutter lived with me, up until recently that is.  I had to step over it and step around it and move things I didn’t need,  to get to things I did need. It is only when you decide to confront your clutter,that it becomes mostly bad. There are many types of clutter. There is everyday clutter, which includes such items as reading material (boxes and boxes of my books, old files and papers no longer needed sit in storage), clothing that hasn’t been worn in years, DVDs that haven’t been played in yonks and anything else you have to hurredly gather up if friends are coming over. As mentioned, there is garage clutter, mainly tools, there is basement clutter (mainly stuff too heavy to carry up to the attic) and there is attic clutter. Attic clutter falls into 3 groups:

• things that are too good to throw away, but which you no longer have a use for
• things that you might need one day, so you keep just in case
• things with sentimental value, that remind you of something but you don’t remember what

My clutter falls into all three categories, but instead of sitting in an attic,  it fills 3 storage units.

Well, there is a lot to be said for decluttering and freeing yourself from all the stuff that sits, unused and unneeded, in various places around the home. The feeling of freedom and enlightenment that comes from taking boxes down to the local Charity store, to be given away or sold off, is not to be underestimated.

I don’t have the answer, yet, to how best to declutter, so if anyone out there can give me some pointers, I would be most grateful.

A cluttered environmnet means a cluttered life. Unclutter your environment and unclutter you life.

Growth in Consciousness and 2012

On Wednesday night I had a very enjoyable wine tasting and dinner with long-standing friends in Cape Town. It made me realize, once again, that with good friends, one can go away for a while (in my case it was 4 years since I was last in Cape Town) and when one gets together again, it is as if one has been there all along. It is so easy to pick up the conversations and topics that are current.

Friendships are funny things. They are important to a well rounded, balanced life, the good friends that you feel so comfortable with. I have not maintained email or other contact with these friends in all this time – and still feel so comfortable with them. Yet with less substantial, or newer, acquaintances, if I can call them that, I chat on a weekly and with some, on a daily basis online. And yet I do not feel as ‘at home’ as I do with these lifelong friends.

At the end of the evening, over a couple, or was it 3 or 4, glasses of a very good KWV port, a few of us started discussing consciousness and the apparent upsurge in consciousness in some parts. There is a view, however misguided, distorted or even heretic, that December 2012 will herald in a new order. This ties in with the end of the Mayan Calendar and is supposed, a view held in some quarters, to signal the end of the world as we know it. Global warming fits in here somewhere – the planet is moving towards some decision point over the next few years. Now this might all be bunkum and nonsense, but there is a growing trend towards greater awareness, consciousness, interest in new sciences such as Noetic Science (read Dan Brown’s latest book, The Lost Symbol) and a growing interest in new order practices such as meditation and other techniques that help one to become more mindful and more in control of one’s thoughts.

I have put all my material possessions into storage, have cancelled the lease on my flat, and am traveling the world, with a suitcase and my laptop, and with no ties, no real commitments and nothing that is controlling my movements other than my wish to move on to new places and new experiences. Is this a greater consciousness, awareness that material possessions are merely temporary whereas life experiences are more permanent? Well, these experiences will stay with me as long as I am alive.

We did not come to any conclusions the other night and the port loosened our thoughts and our tongues. We were more conscious, we were making sense to ourselves, but we didn’t solve the globe’s problems….. more port please. We did decide however, that our increased consciousness might just give us a better chance of surviving any upheaval that occurs in 3 years time.

The Magic of Lavender

Earlier today I wrote about the use of Lavender in the tips I gave for self massage, to ease the aches and pains of a hard day at the office. Well, today in Cape Town,  I came across a magic product, manufactured right here in South Africa. It is marketed via the Aromatic Apothecary, which means, in English, a place that sells aromatic oils and other potions and lotions, for the enhancement of happiness.

I was going to buy some Lavender oil, which I did, when the very friendly and helpful guy behind the counter offered me a shoulder and neck massage, on the house. He showed me a roll-on, called Roll on Relief and commenced rolling and massaging my neck and shoulders with this product. What bliss!!! The combination of Lavender, Peppermint, Ginger and Rosemary caused instant happiness to the area in question and the effect lasted for a good three hours. So I bought one and if anyone, back in Sydney, or on my travels would like to try it out, let me know.

Now I can really recommend a neck and shoulder massage with Lavender oil….. plus…. A real winner.

Check out the website to see if it available in your area…. www.aromatic.co.za

Enjoy!!!

DIY massage

“Basically, a human being is a social animal. So, if you create some short moment of happiness for people, you get deep satisfaction.” – Dalai Lama

And when you create moments of happiness for yourself, you get double satisfaction. Here are some ideas to give yourself a massage at the end of the day’s stresses.

• Painful feet – Rub a little lavender cream or a lavender blend slowly and firmly into your feet and massage for a few minutes.
• For better circulation – Brush your body with a dry, rough glove or soft brush, starting at the wrists and ankles and working in the direction of your heart.
• Pain in the neck – Rub a blend of 5ml oil or cream and one drop each of lavender and peppermint oil into your neck. Make a loose fist, then pummel the muscles in your shoulders with the flat edge of your knuckles: support your elbow with your other hand.
• De-stress – spread your fingers, take hold of your head and then, using your fingers, slowly and deeply move your scalp (don’t rub the scalp itself). You can use two drops of Lavender oil in 10ml grape seed oil.
• Lovely Lavender – use neat lavender to sooth insect bites, stings and burns (one drop) and to clean wounds. After a rough day, add 3 drops to your warm bath. Always use essential oils with caution, preferably with the advice of a qualified aromatherapist. And less is more. If one drop is sufficient, 10 drops won’t do a better job.

Happy massaging and relaxation.

More on puppy training

Yesterday I wrote about the importance of puppy school to ensure your dog is well trained and integrated into the family unit in a positive way. Puppy School provides the perfect opportunity for puppies to polish their canine communication skills. All too often, puppies are raised in sterile environments and find it difficult to cope with anything new as adult dogs – which can have disasterous consequences. We have all seen owners who struggle to keep their adult dog under control and who look flustered and frustrated. Well, puppy training can prevent you going the same way.

At puppy school, trainers expose the puppies to a variety of different stimuli (at appropriate levels) such as loud sudden noises, fireworks, flapping umbrellas, banging doors etc. They also learn to interact positively with other dogs of all shapes and sizes. It is amazing to see how adaptable most puppies are – before the magic age of 16 weeks, anything introduced positively and sensibly is generally accepted without question by these puppies in training.

All types of puppies should enrol in a recognised puppy school. Family pets, show dogs and working dogs in particular benefit as the training stands them in good stead for their future”career”, be it as the family guardian, show stopper or lovable mutt.

As a good owner, you ensure that your puppy receives his vaccinations to prevent disease. Puppy school could be likened to a “behavioural vaccination” . Many potential problems can be averted by taking part in puppy classes, and the entire family is encouraged to attend classes to ensure that the puppy’s training is understood by all concerned.

Train your puppy well and enjoy many years of happy, well trained and well mannered pets.

Touch Therapy – the healing power of massage

Without realising it, we are attuned to the power of touch; mom will hug a crying child or rub her injured knee and after a long day you’ll instinctively rub your sore feet, or aching shoulders. Massage is more than mere pampering – this “touch” therapy can also be good for your health.

Massage is one of the oldest therapies in the world and can have very real health benefits. For professional athletes, sports massage minimises the need to treat injuries with drugs or surgery. And after tough workouts, massage speeds up a sportsman’s recovery. But massage is not just for athletes.

Stress, combined with a sedentary lifestyle and poor diet can be a recipe for illness. Many of us have woken up to this fact and are taking greater responsibility for our own health. And this includes regular massage to stimulate the blood flow throughout our bodies.

When one is exposed to stress, one’s body’s “fight or flight” survival system kicks in. But if a stressful lifestyle and environment keep the body on high alert, high blood pressure, depression, ulcers and emotional burnout can result. Massage can counteract stress by activating the opposite to “fight or flight”, namely your “rest and digest” system. A 20 minute massage can cause you to feel revived and mentally refreshed, as it raises your heart rate and blood pressure temporarily. Then, after 20 minutes of massage, your heart rate, blood pressure and stress hormones all drop and you relax and become drowsy.

Massage can also help your immune system, because it encourages the circulation of your lymphatic fluid. This helps protect one from infection. Unlike your blood system, the lymphatic system does not have a pump, so massage, stretching and exercise help move your lymphatic fluid to the lymph nodes where white blood cells zap potentially harmful substances.

So treat yourself to a professional massage regularly and enjoy the health benefits that will result from this treatment.

Puppy School

I love animals – who doesn’t get all doey eyed when they see a newborn puppy suckling on its proud mother. Or a 12-week old puppy chasing a piece of string, full of energy and life. Well, one thing I have learned with the puppies I have had in my life is the importance of puppy school, both for the puppy and for its owners. Puppy school is the perfect opportunity to teach your puppy desired behaviours and expose it to a variety of stimuli in a safe environment as well.  A puppy that has been well socialized is a calmer and more reliable companion, which is less prone to destructive, anxious and boisterous behaviour. And much less frustration and despair for the owners.

All too often, owners wait until their puppy’s behaviour has become a problem, before they decide to look for some training. But the impact some good training can have on a puppy throughout its life cannot be understated. 

It is important that your puppy begins to understand basic commands such as; Sit down, stay and heel – three of the most important commands a dog should learn to understand and obey. Most puppy trainers make use of a toy or a treat to reward the puppy for good behaviour and obeying one of these commands. And because this training is reward based, dogs will obey these commands because they want to, not because they are punishment based. It is not a good idea to scold a dog and threaten it with a shoe or strap if it misbehaves.  This may well cause the puppy to fear you or your shoe or the strap and “fear does not a happy puppy make”. Dogs also learn much quicker with reward based training and it’s easy for the whole family to take part in the training. And later on, even when the rewards are phased out, the dog will respond happily to the commands as before. As I mentioned before, it is a good idea to involve your children in the puppy training as this helps the puppy to learn its status in the family. Often dogs that misbehave or are difficult to control see themselves as dominant in the family. A dog needs to learn its place in the family, for a long and happy co-existence.

If you would like to learn more secrets to training your puppy, or even an older dog, to be a well trained and wonderful family pet, have a look at one of these e-books that I have sourced for you.

Happiness is Having a Hobby you are Passionate about

Most will agree that having a hobby contributes to one’s general wellbeing and sense of happiness. I know that from personal experience. My maternal grandfather was a workaholic and he had no hobbies or outside interests – he died on the day of his retirement. What a waste of those well earned retirement years. 

Not only is a hobby something that you choose to do, rather than being forced to do, but hobbies involve mini-victories that give you an immediate and regular sense of achievement, success and satisfaction. All ingredients for happiness in my view. A hobby also allows for creativity to shine through, whether it is building model aeroplanes, gardening, or carving a piece of wood into something beautiful. You are creating a unique something and doing it because you love it. 

That said, it is sad that so many of us, when we get home from the office or workplace, slump in front of the TV, blob out and switch off. This approach can only be summed up in the words “My only hobby is laziness, which naturally rules out all others.” 

So maybe, if this rings true with you, it is time to ditch the couch and the bad TV and start doing something with your spare time. Something – anything. You will feel so much happier and you will meet some other interesting people who are doing the same thing as you. You will also find that the move from the couch to the workbench will add years to your life and take inches from your waistline.

So add to your happiness quotient, and your wellness factor, by finding yourself a hobby that you are passionate about.